ADHD-Deceptive Diagnosis"A Must Read"

Introduction
This is not a book on child psychology. It is not just another pragmatic approach to parenting a child labeled ADHD. The authors are not proposing a new method. Instead, our goal is to present the principles of biblical parenting as they pertain to the behaviors associated with the label ADHD. We have attempted to do this with as much clarity as possible. We are convinced that if Christian parents understand and apply the simple principles set forth in Scripture they
can rear their children in a way that honors Christ. It is our desire to make parents aware of two things: first, what the Bible has to say about these behaviors, and, second, how to help their children change.

Children Are Blessed Gifts
God's design is that all children, even those labeled with ADHD, are blessed gifts. Children should not be seen as a burden, but a benediction from God to grace our lives with fulfillment, meaning,and happiness. Parenthood is God's gift to us. Even in a fallen world contaminated by sin, children are living proof of God's love and mercy. Adam and Eve's rebellion toward God occurred before they conceived any children. Nevertheless, God preserved them and permitted Adam and Eve to fulfill the command given before the fall; "Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28). In these words God would set in motion a plan of redemption embracing great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues" (Revelation 7:9). Adam and Eve's children embodied the hope that fallen sinners could be redeemed.

Adam and Eve recognized children as God's blessing to them. When Cain was born Eve said, "I have gotten a man from the Lord"(Genesis 4:1 KJV). Once again Eve bore a son and said, "For God hath appointed me another seed" (Genesis 4:25). Even the children of unbelievers are tokens of God's blessings. "As for Ishmael... I will bless him." How will God bless Ishmael? God will "make him fruitful and multiply him exceedingly" (Genesis 17:20).

God has given parents the duty of raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They are not given the prerogative of delegating that duty to school teachers, peers, or child-care workers. Parents must involve themselves in their children's lives. Parenting is time consuming (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). It is not an easy assignment. The difficulty comes when parents fail to follow the simple principles set forth by God. In neglecting their God-given duty they forfeit the blessing inherent in parenting. Parenting then becomes a burden God never meant for them to bear.

Training up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord does not always guarantee our parenting will succeed. But isn't Proverbs 22:6 ("Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it") a promise? Does it promise that if parents train their child in the Lord the child will remain faithful? The answer is no, it is not a promise. Verse 4 says, "The reward of humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, honor and life." However, Proverbs 22:6 is not a guarantee either. Everyone who is humble and fears God does not become rich. Some are poor. They may be persecuted and not honored.

We have all heard stories about children reared in godly homes that later abandoned their faith and grieved their parents. On the other hand, we have heard about godly children whose parents are ungodly and neglectful. Statistically speaking, children influenced by godly parents are more likely to remain faithful than children who grow up in homes where Christ is not honored. The book of Proverbs contains wise sayings, but the wise sayings are not necessarily absolutes. They are not true in every instance. The true measure of parenting has to do with what the parent does and not what the child does. The focus of success is the character of the parents. Children are quick to understand and will imitate what they see and hear. An affectionate and conscientious parent is a powerful influence in a child's life. Children are never too young to be an accurate observer of their parent's conduct. By that conduct, a child's character may be purified or contaminated. For example, parents want their child to be truthful at all times. However, if the child hears their mother and father tell lies, the child will learn to tell lies. By their example,parents are however unwittingly, molding their child's minds, habits, and character. To the level that parents have followed God's plan for parenting they have succeeded as parents in the eyes of God.

Children have an intellect and do not merely imitate what they see and hear. They are thinking beings. They examine and judge impressions they get, and confirm or reject them according to how they have been taught. Parents must involve themselves, taking great pains in instructing their children to insure no other influences take precedence. For parents to complain that their son or daughter's failures are the fault of their peers is shifting the blame. The parents are to blame because they allowed others to influence their children more than they have themselves.

Some parents may object, roll their eyes, and insist that it is unrealistic to expect them to have more influence with their children than the child's peer group. However, the reason peer groups have influenced children to the degree they have is that parents have simply abdicated the parental role God has required of them. They have invested less time in teaching their children. Television, movies, music, the internet, video games, and other children have become the main source of their children's spiritual, moral, and ethical instruction.

God has made parenting a full-time responsibility. Some parents talk about spending "quality time" with their children. This means they have set aside a number of hours during the week to spend on parenting. This violates the spirit of Deuteronomy 6:7. It guarantees outside influences will have a great affect in shaping the children's character. God solemnly charged parents: "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

Parents must recognize the mournful fact their children are depraved. If they fail to recognize this sad reality they will fail in their attempts to educate their children. Children possess selfish spirits. Self is king in their lives. How strongly they resemble their fallen parents! Unless a child is instructed in biblical truth he will become a slave to ungodly passions and desires. Wickedness will reign in his heart. However, God gives children tender and supple hearts that can be molded. Enlightened by God's Word, children can differentiate between right and wrong. A child can learn to be responsible toward God and neighbor.

The Facts Change Everything
Have you ever had this kind of experience? You become angry, upset, or happy about a particular event. Later, you discovered an important fact that changed your perception about the event. For example, let's say you are standing in a crowded hallway following the Sunday morning worship service. You are waiting for your wife who has stopped to talk to a friend. You notice Frank Smith hurriedly making his way through the crowd. He passes you and steps on your foot without acknowledging his rude behavior Frank dashes out the door, leaving you with a sore foot and hurt feelings. You share the incident with your wife on your way home. Both of you are upset with Frank's thoughtless behavior. Later in the week, Frank calls you at your office. He tells you how sorry he is for stepping on your foot last Sunday morning. However, he goes on to explain how he had not been feeling well that morning. When the service ended, he had become very sick and needed to get outside quickly. Suddenly, your perception of the event changed when you had all of the facts and understood the reason for Frank's behavior.

Imagine for a moment a country that drugs six million children with powerful substances to control behavior. A place where parents are told their children are victims of a "brain disease" that causes them to act inappropriately. A disease that if not treated immediately, could
produce a lifetime of failure, disappointment and under achievement. Frightened by such prospects, the parents are given the "good news" of a safe and mild drug to alleviate the symptoms inflicting havoc in their child's brain. If a parent refuses to accept the pill, they are
encouraged to try it on a trial basis. If the magic pill works and calms the child down, then it proves he had the disease after all.

The view that states man is like an animal, a collection of genes, chemicals and stimulus-response behaviors, laid the groundwork for attention deficit disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and a host of other "diseases." Years ago the symptoms associated with these "disorders" were viewed much differently. They were viewed for what they truly were. If little Archie was reluctant to engage in tasks that required sustained mental effort, made careless mistakes, or did not do his homework, the problem was lack of self-motivation. If he was fidgety, squirmed in his chair, and wouldn't remain seated he was viewed as lacking self-control. If he interrupted others and didn't wait his turn the root problem was poor self-discipline. When Archie behaved in a defiant way and would not comply with rules and requests he was called disobedient. If he pouted, was resentful and vindictive he was said to have a bad attitude. Lying, stealing and hitting others were sinful. In other words, Archie was expected to behave responsibly. If he behaved irresponsibly, his teacher, school principal, Mom and Dad would teach him to be responsible.

In America today, with psychology deeply rooted in Western thought, children are no longer considered to be capable of volitional control over their actions, attitudes, or thoughts. Their behaviors are said to be beyond their control, affected by hereditary, so-called biochemical imbalances in the brain, food additives, television, or even infant DPT inoculation. Their lack of self-discipline, self-control and self-motivation, disobedience, and bad attitudes are defined as a
disease.

This book will help Christian parents who are floundering in the quagmire of un-biblical and contradictory ideas fed to them concerning ADD/ADHD. While its advocates claim ADHD is a brain disease,its opponents, many of which are world renowned psychologists,psychiatrists and neurologists are denying its very existence. It is not a denial of the behaviors; it is a denial that the behaviors are caused by a disease.

The biblical model is more than one more "model" or conceptual system to deal with ADHD. Our goal is to help you see biblical truth you have not seen before. When you do, it will change the way you think about the label ADHD. Instead of humanistic psychology you will see Christian theology..., a Person. In place of "disease" we talk about sinful behavior against that Person. Sufferings are trials that reveal our need for comfort and a Comforter. Instead of defining change in unjustified psychological or medical terms we define change as putting off sinful habits and replacing them with Christ-like habits.

The pressures, difficulties, and at times embarrassment that parents go through with a child labeled ADHD are in many cases over-whelming. It is not unusual for entire households to be thrown into turmoil. Family members become divided against one another. Other children in the family may feel ignored or be neglected. Everyone's life is focused on the one child and the chaos he or she creates. Parents respond with a level of anger they would not have thought possible. They react with accusations and ultimatums. In addition, they may become confused and frustrated because of all the fad theories and sure-cures that have disappointed them. They oftentimes feel at a loss to know how best to help their child. Prayer is a never-failing remedy and comfort to these parents. Sometimes their only solace is when they are on their knees praying to God. However, parents need to realize there are times when prayer is not enough. There are even times when praying is not the thing to do. Moses was on his knees praying God would deliver His people. Then the Lord said to Moses, "Why are you crying out toMe?" (Exodus 14:15). God was saying to Moses: Moses, this is not the time for prayer. It is the time for taking action. "Tell the sons of Israel to go forward" (Exodus 14:15).

There comes a time when praying parents must take godly action. Do not continue to pray and wait and pray and wait. Do not keep worrying and talking about it. Move forward!

Archie's parents must commit themselves to teach, rebuke, correct, and train Archie in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16; Deuteronomy 6:5-9; Ephesians 6:4). Changing years of habitual behavior will take patience on their part. Schedules and routines may have to be temporarily changed. Mom and dad cannot be cold, or lukewarm in their effort to help Archie put-off and put-on. They must be boiling with holy enthusiasm. Forward, forward, forward is the motto. Christ-likeness is the goal for themselves and Archie.

This book is about giving hope. It may seem that the easiest thing to do is to give up in despair. As you read on, we are confident that you will find help. The Apostle Paul says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God,to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). The key words in the verse are "work together." It is hard to discern the picture of a puzzle when only a few pieces are in place. When most or all the pieces are in their proper place the picture is clear. God has a plan for you and your child. Yes, He is at work in your circumstances. However, we usually don't realize immediately the good God is doing. Believers only see a very small part of the puzzle. This is an opportunity for parents to minister to their children and to be part of what Cod is doing in their life. They must never allow themselves or their child to believe God is distant and uninvolved.

The Bible teaches God is near and active in their lives. Every moment is a God moment. True success cannot be achieved by following human techniques. It will only come from a faithful commitment to the sufficiency of God's Word. You say, "I have tried everything." Perhaps you have not tried what is written in the pages of this book.

...ADHD, Deceptive Diagnosis by Drs David Tyler and Kurt Grady, 2008, Focus Publishing, Inc.
...available from the Gateway Biblical Counseling Center library.